22 March 2010

The Dagohoy Story


It was the first day of school in Washington DC and a new student named Dagohoy, the son of a Filipino immigrant, entered  fourth grade.

The teacher began, “Let’s review some American history, class. Who said ‘Give me liberty or give me death?’” She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Dagohoy’s who had his hand up, 
“Patrick Henry, 1775.” 
“Very good,” said the teacher.

“Who said ‘Government of the people, by the people, and for the people shall not perish from the earth’”?
 Again, no response except from Dagohoy: “Abraham Lincoln, Gettysburg, 1863,” he said.
The teacher snaps at the class, “Class, you should be ashamed, Dagohoy who is new to our country knows more about our history than you do.”

She hears a loud whisper from the back: “Screw the Filipinos.”
“Who said that?” she demanded.
Dagohoy put his hand up. “General John Pershing, Manila, 1896.”

At that point, Jack, another student says, “I’m going to puke.”
The teacher glares and asks, “All right! Now who said that?”
Again Dagohoy answers, “George Bush, Sr. to the Japanese Prime Minister during the state dinner, Tokyo, 1991.”

Now furious another student yells, “Oh yeah? Suck this!!”
Dagohoy jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to the teacher at the top of his voice, “Bill Clinton to Monica Lewinsky, the Oval Office, 1997!!”

Someone shouts, “You little shit if you say anything else, I’ll kill you.”
Dagohoy yells, “Congressman Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, Washington, D.C., 2001!”

The teacher faints.
“I’m outta here!” mutters one student as he sidles to the door.
“President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo, Baguio City, December 30, 2002!!” Dagohoy responds.

As the class gathers around her on the floor, someone says, “Oh shit, now we’re really in big trouble!”
“Saddam Hussein, on the Iraq invasion, Baghdad, May 2003!” Dagohoy bellowed.

“Now, I really have to run,” Jack mutters, heading for the exit.
“Gloria Macapagal Arroyo again, Pampanga, October 4, 2003!!!” Dagohoy shouts triumphantly jumping with glee.

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