15 February 2010

More Inday Jokes

Pag dating sa bahay, nandun na ang amo, galit na galit. 
Amo: Inday, bakit nagkalat ang basura sa likod ng bahay?!
Inday: A change in the weather patterns might have occurred wrecking havoc to the surroundings. The way the debris are scattered indicates that the gust of wind was going northeast causing damage to the path it was heading for.
Amo: [napatumbling!!]

Amo: Inday, bakit binenta mo ung sira na silya?!
Inday: I have computed the chair’s fair value less cost to sell, and the value in use using the projections for 5 years and a pretax discount rate. Accordingly, the value in use is lower, so I decided to sell the chair. This is in accordance with PAS18 on Revenue, PAS16 on PPE, and PA36 on Impairment of Assets.
Amo: [nagsummersault!!! Accountant din pala si inday...]

Habang nagluluto si Inday ng hapunan, malikot si junior.
Inday: Stop your raucous behavior. It is bound to result in property damages and if that happens there will be corresponding punishment to be inflicted upon you!
Junior: [takbo sa CR, pinunasan ang nagdudugong ilong!!]

Pagkatapos magluto, nanood na ng TV si Inday. Nabalitaan nya umalis si Angel Locsin sa GMA 7.
Junior: Bakit kaya sya umalis?
Inday: Sometimes, people choose to leave not because of selfish reasons but because they just know that things will get worse if they’ll stay. Leaving can be a tough act, and it’s harder when people can’t understand you for doing so.
Junior: [tuloy ang pagdugo ng ilong]

Nung gabing yon, me nag text ke Inday. Si Dodong, ang driver ng kapitbahay, gusto maki pag text-mate.  
Inday: To forestall further hopes of acquaintance, my unfathomable statement to the denial of your request - Petition denied.

Di naglaon, dahil sa tyaga ni Dodong, naging syota nya rin si Inday. Pero di tumagal ang kanilang relasyon, at nakipag-break si Inday ke Dodong.  
Inday: The statute restricts me to love you but you have the provocations. The way you smile is the proximate cause why I love you. We have some rules to think of. We have no vested rights to love each other because the upper household dismissed my petition!”
Dodong: Perhaps you are mistaken, what you seem to contrive as any affections for you are somewhat half-hearted. I was merely attempting to expand my network of interests by involving you in my daily recreation. Heretofor, you can expect an end to any verbal articulation from myself. (May dumaan na mamang basurero, at narinig ang usapan ni Inday at Dodong.)
Basurero (sabi ke Inday): Be careful in letting go of the things you thought are just nothing because maybe someday you’ll realize that the one you gave away is the very thing you’ve been wishing for to stay.
Narinig ang lahat ng eto ng amo ni inday.
Amo: {hinimatay sa sobrang nosebleed! Hanggang ngayon hindi pa nagkakamalay}

Si inday, sumulat sa kanyang inay ng mga hinaing sa buhay…Dear mom, Had it been for the smelling salt, I must have collapsed moments ago. Junior has become a little monster to me, Remember the head accident he had? As if it wasn’t enough, he was summoned by the principal of his shabbily run academe. Oh, such an erudite bunch of baboons! I never thought being a governess can be such strenuous employ.
Your daughter,

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