01 February 2010

Inday Jokes

For your information, Inday is the usual name of a housemaid, or katulong in Tagalog. After the popularity of Ederlyn, which of course almost every Filipino text addict knows about, Inday comes next.

Dahil sa tindi ng kahirapan sa probinsya, namasukan si Inday bilang katulong sa Maynila. Habang ini-interview ng amo… 
Amo: Kelangan namin ng katulong para mag ayos ng bahay, magluto, maglaba, magplantsa, mamalengke, at magbantay ng mga bata. Kaya mo ba ang lahat ng ito?
Inday: I believe that my trained skills and expertise in management with the use of standard tools, my discipline and experience will contribute significantly to the value of the work that you want, my creativity, productivity and work-efficiency and the high quality of outcomes I can offer will boost the work progress.
Amo: [nosebleed]

Amo: Hoy Inday bakit sunog ang sinaing?
Inday: Heavy fire that exerted by the stimulus affect the best conductor of heat which is the steel, causing the “oriza sativa” which is the scientific of rice to change its state of color, smell as well as the taste.
Amo: … *nosebleed*

Nakaraan ang dalawang araw, umuwi ang amo, nakitang me bukol si junior. 
Amo: Bakit me bukol si junior?
Inday: Compromising safety with useless aesthetics, the not-so-well engineered architectural design of our kitchen lavatory affected the boy’s cranium with a slight boil at the left temple near the auditory organ.
Amo: [nosebleed ulit]

Kinagabihan, habang naghahapunan. 
Amo: Bakit maalat ang ulam?
Inday: The consistency was fine. But you see, it seems that the increased amount of sodium chloride (NaCl) affected the taste drastically and those actions are irreversible. I do apologize.
Amo: [nosebleed na naman]

Donya: Bakit tuwing paguwi ko, nadadatnan kitang nanunuod ng tv?!
Inday: Because I don’t want you to see me doing absolutely nothing.
Donya: [hinimatay]

Kinabukasan, sinamahan ni Inday si junior sa principal’s office dahil di makapunta ang amo at donya.
Principal: Sinuntok ni junior ang kanyang kaklase.
Inday: It’s absurd! It was never a fact that he will inflict a fight. I can only imagine how you handle schizophrenic kids on this educational institution. Revise your policies because they suck!
Principal: [nag resign]

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