MOM: Kc d k p circumcized.
BOY: Ate, batit ato buyoy?
ATE: kc d k p tuli.
BOY: Dadi, batit ato buyoy?
DAD: Kati anak, di k p tuyi!
erap talking to his gardener..
erap: hoy! bakit hindi ka nagdidilig?
gardener: umuulan naman po eh
erap: dat's no excuse! magpayong ka!!!
mrs: tama na yang beer mo masyado ka magastos.
mr: ikaw, makeup mo mas magastos.
mrs: nagpapaganda ko para sa yo.
mr: ako umiinom para gumanda ka!
Lando: 'Nay uminom po ako ng BAYGON.
Nanay: Ha? nagpapakamatay ka ba?
Lando: Hindi po, nakalunok po ako ng buhay na ipis!
Nanay: Uminom ka nun...e di ka pa nagdi-dinner!!
anak: Nay' ANg galing ng titser namin.. Tinuruan kami ng magandang asal
Nanay: Talaga? edi marunong ka nang gumalang at mag po at opo?
anak: natural........ tanga ka ba?!
teacher: pedro, kilala mo ba si jose rizal?
pedro: hindi po...
teacher: juan, kilala mo ba si jose rizal?
juan: hindi rin po..
teacher: (naiinis na) walang nakakakilala sa inyo kay jose rizal'
ramon: ma'am baka po sa kabilang section sya!!!
A man and his nagger wife went to Jerusalem(the holy land) for a vacation. When they were in Jerusalem his wife suddenly died.
The Undertaker ask the man if he wanted to take his wife home for $5000 or bury her at Jerusalem for only $500.
The man replied that he wanted to take his wife home.
Undertaker: Sir why do you wan't to take your wife home? Why don't you just bury her here in the holy land where it is cheaper.
The man replied: Years ago a man died here, after 3 days he rose from the dead. Nope! I wouldn't take a chance.
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